Years ago, there was a scientist who decided to do a study on if the way we speak to living beings affects their ability to thrive.
This scientist took two red delicious apples and put each in the same setting - a glass container, same temperature, same amount of light and air.
The first apple, the scientist spoke kindly to. They said things like "Good morning!" "You are so beautiful!" "You are so strong!" "I enjoy being around you."
To the second apple, the scientist said things like "You're disgusting." "You should just go away." "No one likes you."
Would you believe that the second apple withered away faster than the first?
Now I want you to think of the way you speak to yourself.
How can we expect our bodies to treat us kindly or to thrive if we say things to ourselves like:
"I hate the way I look"
"I hate myself"
Self-deprecating talk (and humor) could make you wither away.
So how do we talk to ourselves for success (and without faking it)?
1. What do you love about yourself? What would you never change? Tell yourself the answer every day. Whether it's in the mirror, talking to yourself at night, or the mantra you play in your head as you walk down the street, tell yourself how much you value these wonderful things about you.
2. When you receive a compliment, write it down. It's not that we are looking for outside validation, but if you feel uplifted by a comment from a stranger or friend, we want you to be able to recreate that feeling for yourself. When someone says, "I love your outfit!" I want you to remember that feeling every time you go to put that dress on. I bet you'll begin to love how you look in it too.
3. Be Kind. Of course we are all only human, and we all have things we are insecure about. Instead of hating yourself for it, accept it and be kind. For example, I had a client who had such a hard time getting past her curvy figure. The clothes she wanted to wear would never hug her right, jeans weren't made for fuller bottoms, and she struggled with finding love for her body. We had her look in the mirror each day and say a kind word about those curves she hated. She came up with:
"I feel womanly"
"I am soft to touch"
"I feel sexy"
Now she wants to cling onto those curves as we continue shedding fat and building muscle!
The thing is - the way we talk to ourselves has a huge influence on our results and outcomes. If an apple doesn't do it for you, think about if a child was told every day that they were loved, versus being told no one loves you. How do you think they would show up in the world? How do you think they would treat themselves? How do you think their physical being would show up in the world?
Our bodies pay attention to more than you realize. Improve the way you talk to yourself, and see what can change for you.